NRA – Now Really Asinine

The NRA, in the form of their executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, has finally spoken out on what to do regarding guns in the USA…

“The truth is, that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters. People that are so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven by demons, that no sane person can every possibly comprehend them. They walk among us every single day…”

…wait, did he just describe his own organisation ???



Anyhoo, LaPierre went on…

“How many more copycats are waiting in the wings for their moment of fame from a national media machine that rewards them with wall-to-wall attention and a sense of identity that they crave, while provoking others to try to make their mark.”

“A dozen more killers, a hundred more?”

…doesn’t the NRA have like 4 million members ???



Anyway, LaPistol went on…

“How can we possibly even guess how many, given our nation’s refusal to create an active national database of the mentally ill?”

…don’t you have a list somewhere of those 4 million members ???



Anyhow, LaPiece went on…

“& here’s another dirty little truth that the media try their best to conceal. There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people.”

…I thought the media had openly reported on the NRA lobby in Washington ???



In any case, LaPeashooter went on…

“1,000 music videos & you all know this, portray life as a joke & they play murder — portray murder as a way of life. & then they all have the nerve to call it entertainment.”

…music vids kill people ? But I thought “people killed people” ???



Anyways, LaPutz went on…

“Isn’t fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography?”

…I thought porn depicted sex thingies ? Sooo, sex kills people ???



Nevertheless, LaUzi went on…

“Rather than face — rather than face their own moral failings the media demonize lawful gun owners, amplify their cries for more laws, and fill the national media with misinformation and dishonest thinking that only delay meaningful action, and all but guarantee that the next atrocity is only a news cycle away.”

…the national media kills people ???



Odd & yet, LaMurderweapon went on…

“As brave & heroic & as self-sacrificing as those teachers were in those classrooms & as prompt & professional and well- trained as those police were when they responded, they were unable — through no fault of their own, unable to stop it.

As parents we do everything we can to keep our children safe. It’s now time for us to assume responsibility for our schools. The only way — the only way to stop a monster from killing our kids is to be personally involved & invested in a plan of absolute protection.”

…absolute protection ? Sooo, gun free schools kill people ???



But LaIdiot went on still…

“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

…he wants a “good” guy to shoot him ???



Oookaaaaay… well, there you have it folks, it’s not guns nor is it the NRA’s fault those 20 kids are dead & it obviously never was.

Nope, instead it’s things like gun free schools, the national media, teachers, gunless good guys, countless music vids, porn & people with mental health issues.

Basically, just about anyone & anything that’s not a member of the good ole pro-gun NRA has blood on their hands… well, that makes perfect sense.

God(b)less

Hmmm, what’s this ?

Lots & lots of people brutally murdered at an elementary school in Connecticut ?

That’s horrible, I guess I should type something clever against guns…



But not this time.

No no, not cuz of the impending Apocalypse but rather, as a teen recently told me, “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”.

Well, I dunno about you folks but that sure set me straight so let’s hear it for that great great idea of having the right to own guns… it’s only normal, right ?

Beyond Monsterhood

You know… when you’re wrong, you’re wrong.

Simple as that.

& in this case, it’s my opinion about the president.



Not Obama though, no no no.

I mean that Syrian one.

You know, President Bashar Al-Assad.



After the recent Houla massacre decadeslong oppression, lil’ Ass Jr (my petname for him) recently made some promises to the world.

Promises which, to this very day, are emptier than a wallet after a Las Vegas visit.

With that & more in mind, I formed my opinion on this President.



But now, as you may have heard or read about, lil’ Ass Jr has given a clarification of sorts following the latest unrest…

“What happened in Houla and elsewhere are brutal massacres which even monsters would not have carried out.”

For that & the fact you (still) insist there’s no real uprising but a foreign plot at work to destabilise Syria, I thank you President Assad because I now see I was wrong about you.



You see, all this time I thought you were this bloodthirsty dictator going around killing those that opposed your reign of terror.

When in reality, you have no idea of what the Hell’s going on in your very own country or even in Reality with your talk about beings worse than monsters killing your citizens & also conspiracies.

My mistake, I promise that from now on I’ll see you as an ignorant, worthless lunatic.

…That Was It ???

June 25th, 2009.

That was the day a doctor, or as I like to call him… Conrad “The Conman” Murray, killed the sleepy wreck formerly known as artist Michael Jackson.

Now, you can adore Michael Jackson like he’s a music god, you can hate him like he’s paedophile or be totally indifferent to him like he’s just another in a looong line of dead celebs who you never wanted meet anyway.



Buuuttt when someone dies, especially because of a doctor, you want there to be justice.

That can be tricky because lawyers are evil bastards.

Thankfully, lawyers are people too & so sometimes they make mistakes, like defence attorney Ed Chernoff for example:

“He [Michael Jackson] did an act without his doctor’s knowledge, without his doctor’s permission, against his orders, he did an act… that caused his own death.”

WTF ?

Seriously ???

That kind of defence is just crazy talk.



I mean imagine the following courtroom scene:



Lawyer: “My client didn’t kill anyone, Your Honour !”

The Judge: “Didn’t he sent that bomb package to the deceased ?”

Lawyer: “Yes, but it was the deceased who chose to open it. & when the bomb went off, my client wasn’t anywhere near the deceased or the explosion.”

The Judge: “So ???”

Lawyer: “So, it was clearly suicide.”

The Judge: “…I see your point. Case dismissed !”



So, even if Doc Conman somehow manages to walk away from all of this a free man, it’s good to know that for once it won’t be because of a defence attorney.

Killed Because Of Raisins ! …Raisins ???

March 11 2004.

2,5 years after 9/11, terrorists decided to attack people living in the West once again, this time by detonating several bombs on trains in Madrid, Spain.

The result = 191 killed.



& even though these horrific attacks were carried out by Muslim terrorists, it was ETA who was blamed as the initial suspect.

The real culprits were eventually found & then… they blew themselves up.

Suicide is of course an excellent way to get to Paradise ASAP & pimp eternal over those 72 promised virginal maidens delicious raisins.



Once, after apparently having overheard the media saying Muslim terrorists were worse than non-Muslim terrorists, a friend of mine said: “What difference does it make they’re Muslims ? A terrorist is a terrorist.”

A statement which would be true were it not for the fact that Muslim terrorists attack anyone & everyone ALL over the world, while the likes of say ETA operate, as far as bombings go, on a regional level.

So yes, they’re both evil but only 1 of them is crazee Evil everywhere…

Weblogging The Seeds Of Love

February 14th, today, is of course thé Lurve Day & when such a day arrives, it brings along an opportunity to make the best out of it.

So, I’ve decided to forgive all of Humanity’s enemies & send them the sweet Love they so desperately need.

Oh yes, sending out Love… nnnow !



…

…

…



…nah, I just couldn’t bring myself to make the effort to Love them.

Well, at least I sort of tried, maybe next year though ?

Hope you bastards die in the meantime !

Error 404 – Not Found

May 20th ?

Why, that means today it’s EDMD.

Happy “Everybody Draw Muhammad Day” everyone !



As you may have heard this 1st-ever EDMD was thought of by a female cartoonist from the US called Molly Norris .

She did this because of what happened in New York & Washington DC on 9/11… no, I meant because of what happened in Madrid on 3/11 of 2004… no no, it’s because of what happened in London on 7/7 of 2005… wait, EDMD is because of South Park ???

Now that (the animation series) is just stupid.



& also stupid was the whole reason for holding this event.

But even more stupid was Miss Norris because after making the drawing calling for EDMD, posting it on her website & even giving an interview on the radio about it, she chickened out & distanced herself from the whole thing mere days later.

She eventually posted a statement explaining herself, part of which follows below…

“Personally I can feel afraid of Muslims because I really have no idea if in their hearts they hate non-Muslims.

I hope for the sake of this country that moderate Muslims will speak out with everyone else against any violent members of that or any other religion. That way I would know that there is a difference. Maybe this cartoon I made, this fictional poster of “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!” had such a wildfire effect because it is finally time for Muslims and non-Muslims to understand one another more.

I am going back to the drawing table now!

Thanks,
Molly”

WTF ?

What kind of response is that ?

To Hell with this clueless “oh-I-dunno-know-if-Muslims-are-evil-or-not” sell-out of a hypocrite.



But her desertion is no reason to worry.

Because we here at X-Mer Central do care for the Freedom Of Speech, so how could we remain silent ?

& by silent I mean picking up the computer mouse & using it for some good ol’ counter terrorism art.



However, EDMD is in no way meant to attack evil Muslim terrorists or even help bridge cultural &/or religious differences between Islam & non-Islam.

This event is nothing more than a piss-poor excuse for non-Muslims to ridicule an entire religion at the expense of everyone including themselves.

& for this very reason I will not be joining up on EDMD to create “art” depicting a certain prophet.



Not all is lost though, as I can still create some art that is not related to EDMD or what it stands for.







She’s not a prophet, she’s not holy, she’s not even realistic.

She’s a cartoon depiction of a cow & a rather nice one at that.

You see, I had never drawn a cow on my computer before & I’m proud that on this day a stupid event still made me do something new, worthwhile & productive…

Park That Animation Now !

You too may have been shocked by the recent news that Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee, a follower of a certain religion, threatened warned South Park creators unfunny guy 1 & unfunny guy 2 (or whatever the Hell their names are).

I mean, whatever took this Revolution Muslim guy so long ?

It’s only been on the air since like the end of the LAST century.



But seriously, without South Park around to show a picture of the Prophet, how will these followers ever recognize him upon his return ?

Won’t that cause like serious problems ?

It probably will & here’s how that day might look like…



“Devout” follower A: Hey brother, you sure showed that innocent Western tourist

“Devout” follower B: Thank you brother

*Suddenly*

– Hi everybody.

“Devout” follower A & B: …

– Hi everybody !

“Devout” follower A: Who the Hell are you ?

– It’s me.

“Devout” follower A & B: ?

– You know.

“Devout” follower A & B: ??

– The HOLY one.

“Devout” follower A & B: ???

– Your Prophet.

“Devout” follower A & B: *murderous look* INFIDEL !!!

– W-what ?

“Devout” follower A: BROTHER, THIS INFIDEL IS CLAIMING TO BE OUR PROPHET !

“Devout” follower B: YES, I HEARD THAT BROTHER AS I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO YOU WHEN HE SAID IT !

– What ? No, I really am your Prophet !

“Devout” follower A: GET HIM !

– Now just a minute… hey, where are you taking me ?

“Devout” follower B: WE’LL SHOW HIM WHAT WE DO WITH THOSE WHO INSULT OUR PEACEFUL (but intolerant) RELIGION !

“Devout” follower A: YES, WE SURE WILL !

– no… No… NOOOO… EEEIIIAAARGHHHHH !!!

*Later*

“Devout” follower A: Could you believe that infidel, brother ?

“Devout” follower B: When will people learn ?

“Devout” follower A: Hey, want to go kill some Jews ?

“Devout” follower B: Of course, brother. Let’s go !

“Devout” follower A: Boy, they were sure stupid to kill off their saviour

“Devout” follower B: They sure were, brother. They sure were…

Meanwhile… In Malaysia

Who knew those crazy extremists had a sense of humor ?

The Swiss Are Coming !

Perhaps you recall a previous post where we talked about Crazy Uncle Mo & his even crazier scheme to convert hot women non-Muslims to Islam ?

His 1st stop was Rome, Italy.

It should have been Zurich, Switzerland.



But… it’s too late now.

For the Swiss people have spoken & now a majority supports a ban on… minarets (you know, those long thingies beside a mosque).

Life must sure be tough over in Switzerland where, apparently, there are as many as FOUR whole minarets.

Yes, 4 of them.

Can you even imagine that level of daily horror ?

No wonder the Swiss People’s Party held a referendum.

& as plans go, this one of course is brilliant.

It’ll teach al-Qaeda a lesson they’ll never forget !

Why, I can almost see the poor bastards already…

So, evildoers all over the world beware !

Because the Swiss are coming & your religion will be next…

Almost THAT Time Of The Month Again…

It’s there.

Teasing me like some Asian chick richly covered in thick… but I digress.

You see, I’ve been having these strong feelings lately.

No, no, you cannot help me.

Like a bad cold in Siberia, it’s unavoidable.

It’s bad for me & yet I find myself loving it !

To tell you the honest truth, I don’t think I’d be able to stop even if I wanted to.

Even all the way in the background it would still succeed in fanning my lust for a lil’ taste.

I can’t – I musn’t – I…

*sigh*

You too might have experienced it sometime in your life.

The temptation & the heartache.

& in that case, no explanations are necessary.

No matter what you had to do, you rose to the challenge & overcame it.

You’re free now.

Best I can do now is manage my problem by actually letting it return into my life.

But on MY terms.

Once a month I purposely indulge my dark desires.

Yes.

I mean what choice do I really have ?

None really.

😡

Damn your crunchy existence, salty snacks !

Come Taste My Pleasures