Archive for the ‘Funny Monkey’ Category

Holly Jolly

December 25, 2012



Has beard.

Performs miracles.

&… doesn’t exist.



You know who I refer to.

It’s his day after all.

So, deal with it already !






Santa Baby






Merry X-Mas.


Mu On Mo #52 – Exordium & Terminus

December 24, 2012



With a certain chance of us all dying a horrible death some time during this apocalyptic year, it’s better to focus elsewhere.

& to soothe the soul, what’s better than a few tunes ?

Here’s some Music On Monday…



Yes, coming to you (every ?) Monday throughout the entirety of 2012 (with some co-operation from YouTube) will be some familiar songs.

While others, whether because of the relative unknownness of the artist or possibly your musical tastes, will be a new experience.

…51 weeks ago, that’s how it all started but now that’s all about to end.



Hello there & welcome to the last week of this year long Mu On Mo.

Yeah, too bad but there’s just no more weeks left in 2012.

But for 51 straight weeks, it did come to you on each & every monday, which is something I was never sure of.



Because while not typical for its entirety, there were a lot of mondays where I just had no idea what to do next.

Looking back, it’s clear there’s 2 Mu On Mo’s.

There’s the 1st part which was planned & revolved around monthly themes & then there’s the 2nd part, which was more personal on an emotional level & could change a lot from week to week.



Now, the monthly themes weren’t dropped in favour of this other more spontaneous approach.

For better or worse, that’s just how it developed along the way.

Anyhoo, the end…



The first ever Mu On Mo had a song which symbolized the start of the musical journey by going up in a balloon.

With that journey nearly at an end, it’s only fitting it should end in a place which lies not in the sky & fits with the apocalyptic theme.

In fact, check out last week’s entry’s title for a major HINT of this week’s song that got the following comment on YouTube…





“You are fantastic!”






I know that comment was aimed at the person singing in the music vid but you know what ?

For pulling this off & a lot more, I am fantastic !

& so was Mu On Mo…













From 2012 itself, that was Taylor Ferrera – I Wanna Go To Hell!.

Now, this is where I end with “See you another time for more Music On Monday ? …that’s if we’re still around.” but this being the actual end… well, I dunno if that song or any of the past 51 songs for that matter ever soothed a single soul but there you go & thanks to everyone who suggested songs !

Ladies & gentlemen, Music On Monday.


NRA – Now Really Asinine

December 22, 2012



The NRA, in the form of their executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, has finally spoken out on what to do regarding guns in the USA…

“The truth is, that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters. People that are so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven by demons, that no sane person can every possibly comprehend them. They walk among us every single day…”

…wait, did he just describe his own organisation ???



Anyhoo, LaPierre went on…

“How many more copycats are waiting in the wings for their moment of fame from a national media machine that rewards them with wall-to-wall attention and a sense of identity that they crave, while provoking others to try to make their mark.”

“A dozen more killers, a hundred more?”

…doesn’t the NRA have like 4 million members ???



Anyway, LaPistol went on…

“How can we possibly even guess how many, given our nation’s refusal to create an active national database of the mentally ill?”

…don’t you have a list somewhere of those 4 million members ???



Anyhow, LaPiece went on…

“& here’s another dirty little truth that the media try their best to conceal. There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people.”

…I thought the media had openly reported on the NRA lobby in Washington ???



In any case, LaPeashooter went on…

“1,000 music videos & you all know this, portray life as a joke & they play murder — portray murder as a way of life. & then they all have the nerve to call it entertainment.”

…music vids kill people ? But I thought “people killed people” ???



Anyways, LaPutz went on…

“Isn’t fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography?”

…I thought porn depicted sex thingies ? Sooo, sex kills people ???



Nevertheless, LaUzi went on…

“Rather than face — rather than face their own moral failings the media demonize lawful gun owners, amplify their cries for more laws, and fill the national media with misinformation and dishonest thinking that only delay meaningful action, and all but guarantee that the next atrocity is only a news cycle away.”

…the national media kills people ???



Odd & yet, LaMurderweapon went on…

“As brave & heroic & as self-sacrificing as those teachers were in those classrooms & as prompt & professional and well- trained as those police were when they responded, they were unable — through no fault of their own, unable to stop it.

As parents we do everything we can to keep our children safe. It’s now time for us to assume responsibility for our schools. The only way — the only way to stop a monster from killing our kids is to be personally involved & invested in a plan of absolute protection.”

…absolute protection ? Sooo, gun free schools kill people ???



But LaIdiot went on still…

“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

…he wants a “good” guy to shoot him ???



Oookaaaaay… well, there you have it folks, it’s not guns nor is it the NRA’s fault those 20 kids are dead & it obviously never was.

Nope, instead it’s things like gun free schools, the national media, teachers, gunless good guys, countless music vids, porn & people with mental health issues.

Basically, just about anyone & anything that’s not a member of the good ole pro-gun NRA has blood on their hands… well, that makes perfect sense.


DOOMSDAY IS HERE !!!!!!!!!!

December 21, 2012






Kylie Says No To The Apocalypse






Riiight.

What do you know, Oz midget ?

You’re only an expert in sashaying around in skimpy tight clothes while aging anything but gracefully.



Anyhoo…

I’ve eaten delicious junk, I’ve sent out my X-Mas cards & I’ve paid all my bills.

Mayan Apocalypse… I’m [censored] ready for you ! 😈


Mu On Mo #50 – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

December 10, 2012



With a certain chance of us all dying a horrible death some time during this apocalyptic year, it’s better to focus elsewhere.

& to soothe the soul, what’s better than a few tunes ?

Here’s some Music On Monday…



Sometime ago, I was on this train.

& there, sitting in front of me, was another person.

Who asked me a question.



“What topics will your blog deal with in the new year ?”

The answer to that, of course, is… none.

Apocalypse.



Buuuttttt, if I had to guess I suppose there would’ve been more.

Yes, both more of the same & more new stuff too.

Perhaps even Lou Ferrigno pics.



Still amazes me so many people (all looking for his pics) end up here where there are none to find.

I wonder, could they all be a lil’ …you-know-what ??? O_O

Hm, that reminds me of a fun song which got the following comment on YouTube…





“Great, and sadly overlooked song, from the Seventies….Very clever…What would the neighbors think?? Great line…”






2 guys doing stuff together.

What WOULD the neighbours think ?

Enjoy, you know you want to…













Fixing him a drink, that was Jim Stafford – My Girl Bill.

See you another time for more Music On Monday ?

…that’s if we’re still around.


Tidings Of Discomfort & Non-Joy

December 9, 2012



Now, some people (still) doubt the Apocalypse will happen.

Well, those people just aren’t paying attention to the obvious signs.

Like brand new spam mail for example that refers to the Academy Awards…






Spam Signs of The Apocalypse






Surely, when total rats like spammers (who don’t give a crap about anything or anyone except themselves) suddenly don’t wanna refer to 2012, something must be seriously seriously amiss ?


Jew Want Peace ?

November 30, 2012



Tragic.

That’s the only way to describe the whole thing, tragic.

The Middle East that is.



Cuz now that the Palestinians got their wish, thanks to the UN’s General Assembly, peace is further away than ever.

A peace that so many desperately want, a peace so many desperately need.

But now, well…



It’s fairly easy to be brainwashed by these Palestinians, you know ?

Sure, they’re all “we want a free, independent, sovereign country of our own” but have they ever done anything constructive regarding the peace process ?

Unlike them, Israel though has & literally does by building thousands of brand-new houses all over occupied Palestinian land & thus showing the world they really care abou… oy vey.






Middle East Peace



Source


“Lala” Can’t Hear You !

October 18, 2012



You know, people in the media all make mistakes.

But whether mere silly or totally untrue, there’s a chance of it becoming such utter nonsense, that it’s no longer laughable & thus it becomes annoying.

& whenever these people are at the pinnacle of their stupidity, it makes me want to stick my indexfingers in my ears & go “La la la, I can’t hear youuu !” to drown out what they’re saying.



Recent example ?

The Pakistani… yeah, like there’s a real difference… Taliban AKA the TTP (that’s Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan, not Taliban Toilet Paper, btw).

You know, the lovely bunch who shot that 14-year-old schoolgirl, Malala Yousafzai.



At 1st, the attack seemed nothing more than the usual behaviour of fanatical Muslim terrorists.

& after initial reports on what happened to Malala, we began getting updates on her health.

Well now, a few days later, there’s a… “different” side to the story.



We probably all thought her getting shot was for a variety of ignorant & idiotic “sinful” & un-Islamic reasons.

Like maybe her being female or possibly wanting an education or perhaps just for speaking out against the Taliban.

No no no, not the case at all.



According the Taliban themselves, via a spokesperson (bearded obviously), Malala was shot cuz… wait for it… wait for it…


“Taliban executed the attack on an adult girl only after she emerged as a pivotal character in the media war against us”



Attacked for being more popular than them… yeaaah, God may be omnipotent but it can’t hear that.






Source


Search Engine Terms – We Hold This Truth To Be Self-Evident…

September 25, 2012



Ever since this crazy web log started, there’s been an increase in traffic.

& with that, come certain… colourful types of search engine terms visitors use.

But unlike with earlier BISHFWILF posts, some actually are pretty obvious, like today’s top term…






Dirty Hoe






Myes… myes, so much truth that there’s not much to add, really.

But seriously, if only Mittens was honest… he might win, you know ?

Yeah right, HAHAHA… oops, I meant “Ho ho ho” :mrgreen:






Mitt Romney Campaign Slogan Revealed


A Rod For Da Pussy

September 23, 2012



Inflatable, lightweight yet solid.

Hmmm, at 5 & half inches it’s not as long as I’d hoped it would be but on the other hand it does have a strap system to hold it in place when in use.

Also, it’ll be available early October 2012.



Good, good !

Just in time for that special lurve event…

World Animal Day, myes.






Uni-Cat






I like the part where it says “Cats love it !” right by the pic of a most “happy” looking feline.


Day Of WHAT ???

September 21, 2012



Oh, what’s this ?

Following days of violent unrest, the government of Pakistan has announced plans to combat this.

Friday, today, there is to be a special Day Of L… ha *ahem* a Day Of L… hah… hahaHAHA…



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



*takes breath*



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



*ahem*

…so, a Day Of Love, huh ?

Riiight, but if this fails though, what’s next ?



A Day Of Non-Violence ? A Day Of Normalcy ?? A Day Of Peace ???

…uh-oh, just thinking about that makes me feel another uncontrollable laughing urge coming on.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…


Madness? This… Is… Déjà Vu !!!!!!!!!!

September 19, 2012



*sees news*

*checks calendar*

…November 2011, is that you ???



Either I’ve travelled back in time (without a DeLorean)…

or French mag “Charlie Hebdo” has published Muhammad cartoons, again.

But that’s ok folks, cuz this time things’ll go differently.



Yeah, this time fanatical Muslims’ll change their attitudes.

This time, it won’t be a problem.

This time, it’s ok.



Don’t we already know fanatical extremists are total insecure & immature douchenozzles by now ?!?!?

Doing the same thing over & over again but expecting a different outcome = insanity.

…so, what exactly is the point of publishing the cartoons now ???



It really feels like being stuck in an unending loop of madness…

“Madness ? This. Is. SPARTAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!”

Well, whaddaya know ? It wasn’t déjà vu after all but actual time travel… what a relief… my, you’re muscular…


Mu On Mo #38 – In A World Filled With The Likes Of You

September 17, 2012



With a certain chance of us all dying a horrible death some time during this apocalyptic year, it’s better to focus elsewhere.

& to soothe the soul, what’s better than a few tunes ?

Here’s some Music On Monday…



Muslims…

Jews…

Christians…



I really really really like how they all are better than all the non-believers.

Always showing that positive side of their beliefs.

How following apparently divine morals leads them to never being judgemental or violent but openminded & forgiving.



But mostly, it’s the obvious love they have for their fellow man that I can’t help but admire.

…myes.

This brings me to a song which got the following comment on YouTube…





“I love the vibe of this song. Very creepy and manipulative. Love it!”






Yeah, almost… strange even.

The total opposite of religion, of course.

Enjoy…













From the 60s, that was The Doors – People Are Strange.

See you another time for more Music On Monday ?

…that’s if we’re still around.


Re: That Movie… Starring… A Donkey

September 13, 2012



EE AW ! EE AW !






US ambassador to Libya, Christopher Stevens, dead cuz of a poorly acted movie… he had nothing to do with ???

Myes… myes… quite the drama. *leans back & strokes chin*

Looking into this matter for a possible post, the whole event seems a bit of a major clusterfuck as far as precise details go.



So much so, that I’m not even sure what to type…

Waaay too many questions surround this, for example… was this attack planned for 9/11 by terrorists ? When/how did the ambassador die ? Is Freedom Of Speech under threat in the Middle East yet again ? Who exactly is this “Sam Bacile” ? Why is the (YouTube) trailer over 13 minutes long ? Will that donkey appear in a Jesus movie next ? Etc.

WELL, THAT LEVEL OF UNCERTAINTY’S NOT GONNA MAKE FOR AN INTERESTING UPDATE, NOW IS IT ? (when in doubt, shout)



Indeed, too bad really.

Oh well, at least I tried, right ?

Hmmm… there is 1 thing I’m wondering about though…






Shrektacular !


Mu On Mo #36 – The Dark Hound Rises

September 3, 2012



With a certain chance of us all dying a horrible death some time during this apocalyptic year, it’s better to focus elsewhere.

& to soothe the soul, what’s better than a few tunes ?

Here’s some Music On Monday…



Why so serious ?

Let’s put a smile on that face !

There’s an intense scene in “The Dark Knight” where The Joker says those 2 lines.



Well, after last week’s confession of sadness, I figured the opposite was needed.

Something fun !

This in the form of today’s song which got the following comment on YouTube…





“This video is great. I laugh everytime I watch it”






Indeed, so have I.

Major thanks to “AP” for linking me to it.

Why so serious indeed…













From the nonsensical I-net, that was… uh… “Dog” with Batman Theme originally composed by Neal Hefti.

See you another time for more Music On Monday ?

same bat-time, same bat-channel !


Stop.Playing.With.IT. #01 – OMG !

August 11, 2012



?

Oh ! Uhhh, hello there.

I-I-I… didn’t expect you here today.



Because while I wish I had the usual fantastic post for you, I’m afraid there is none.

You see, I’ve been rather distracted lately because of…

…well uhhh, I’m sorta ashamed to type it really.



It’s filthy !

It’s disgusting !

It’s… a perversion.



It’s… it’s…

…it’s food. Yes, f-o-o-d.

FOOD !



Why is it perverse ?

Because it’s like totally the most pornographic thing ever.

EVER.



But don’t take my word for it.

No no no.

Just take a look below this & experience how sick food can be…






NSFW Food Porn



NSFW Food Porn



NSFW Food Porn






O_O

& now, if you’ll excuse me…

…I need a cold shower.


Cock……. Up! (That Means Mistake)

August 4, 2012



It seems some folks believe Mitt Romney’s gonna whoop Obama in the upcoming elections.

But to do just that, he’s gonna need all the help he can get because cool people like George Clooney support the Prez.

Well, the Mittster now has that help…



No, not Clint Eastwood but rather Jenna Jameson has come out in support of Mitt Romney.

Yes, porn star Jenna.

Here’s how she put it…


“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office. When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”



I’m sure Mitt’s glad you said that, Jenna.

An endorsement of a guy who’ll screw millions of people once he’s in office while being a whore to the far Right by a whore-ish gal who made millions by screwing in some office set.

Poetic.



Mitt Romney Campaign Slogan Revealed



Source


The Next President Of The United States…

July 26, 2012



You know, a lot of people say they have no idea who he is.

Or that they haven’t got a clue what he stands for.

Mitt Romney, quite the enigma.



Until now.

After the recent Aurora cinema shooting, some people dared to question guns.

The Mittster of course responded to that & here’s how he put it…


“But I don’t happen to believe that America needs new gun laws. A lot of what this young man did was clearly against the law.”

“But the fact that it was against the law did not prevent it from happening.”

“…we can sometimes hope that just changing the law will make all bad things go away. It won’t. Changing the heart of the American people may well be what’s essential, to improve the lots of the American people.”



Sooo… if something awful happens, a top level politician like the president of the US need not even bother adapting/introducing laws ?

It’s people themselves, they should… sort it out… somehow by… “changing”, oh yeah, that makes sense.

Vote Mitt Romney, the next president.



Mitt Romney Campaign Slogan Revealed


+1

July 8, 2012



Eagle-eyed readers among you may have noticed a lil’ something in the title of that last post the other day.

“250”.

What does it all mean ?



Well, it’s not a typo because believe it or not, if my calculations are correct… this web log has reached the milestone of that many posts.

Oh yes, however this fact did not surprise me as I knew it was coming for some time now.

& now that it finally has happened, I’ve been pondering & wondering 24/7 what it all means to me.



After 250 posts, am I somehow smarter ?

After 250 updates, am I somewhat wiser ??

After 250 entries, am I something ???



Thé answer to all of that is, of course, a big N-O.

I honestly don’t know about all those others who’re on-line with their Blogger, their Twitter, their Tumblr or WordPress accounts but I for one have never taken this very seriously.

1 only needs to take a look at the past 250 “logs” to realise this buuuttt I guess this being a special occasion & all, there should be some sort of pay off, so here’s a deep meaningful message to everyone…






X-Mer's 250th Post - Meaningful Message


Fun Fun Fun… All Summer Long !

July 1, 2012



Yes, Summer.

I’d nearly forgotten about it.

But despite some days of lesser weather, it IS here.



That time of year when, after all those looong hours at work, you get to leave it all behind you & relax.

& what better way to do that, than to travel someplace new & then… finally unwind ?

Why, I can see the holiday postcard already.