Posts Tagged ‘Weird’

Chicken: “BOO !”

April 19, 2012



Holy crap !

It’s an eggless chicken, I tells ya !

EGGLESS !!!



Oooooh no.

No no no no no.

N-O period !



I know how this works by now.

A “weird” event happens & suddenly the Apocalypse is breaking news.

Then… instead of The End, nothing actually happens.



Well, it’s going to take a lil’ more effort for these “signs” to make me offer yet another virgi… uh, I meant write about it here.

&… errr, waste your time… yeah, that’s it.

*Phew !*



You wear a disguise that heralds darker skies. ♪ ♫ ♪

But you’re not an omen. ♪ ♫ ♪

You’re a Chicken Boo.* ♪ ♫ ♪






*Obscure references are the best !


2012: I See A Bad Moon Rising… & It Is Blue !

January 28, 2012



*ahem*

Ah 1, ah 2.

Ah 1-2-3-4 !



Bluuue goo ! ♪ ♫ ♪

I saw you fallin’ from up theeere ! ♪ ♫ ♪

Non-sticky & no smeeell, you came down from the aiiir ! ♪ ♫ ♪



Bluuue goo ! ♪ ♫ ♪

You’re temporarily bein’ kept inside a friiidge ! ♪ ♫ ♪

But my name ain’t… uh, Miiidge (???) ♪ ♫ ♪



Blue blue blue bluuue goo ! *Dip-De-Dip-De-Dip* ♪ ♫ ♪

Now that the Apocalypse is heeere, what are we to dooo ? ♪ ♫ ♪

Oh, blue goooo ! ♪ ♫ ♪



Source



The Blue Moon Has Risen


Apocalypse… Now ?

January 6, 2011



To the ongoing mysterious animal deaths we can now add not only the dead birds found in Sweden but also dead crabs & starfish, which are piling up on England’s shores along what is known as “Thanet Coast”.

That’s… chilling news on its own but together with everything that’s been happening lately, it’s very disturbing.

So, WTF is happening here ???



According to the so-called experts, all of these apocalyptic-like events are nothing more than a mere coincidence.

Uh-huh, so no need to worry ourselves then ?

Nope, no need at all.



…hey, reports indicate that dead fish are now washing up in New Zealand as well… & Brazil apparently too.

Ok, deep calm breath & repeat after me:

“Mass deaths in the animal kingdom are perfectly normal, especially when they occur around the same time & involve multiple species around the world”.









…WE’RE ALL DOOMED !!!


The Sun Always Shines On TV

January 4, 2011



Hello & welcome to 2012 !

…wait, that’s not right, is it ?

After everything the media has covered these past few days, it suddenly seems like the end of the world is very near.



I mean this year has hardly begun & already we’ve had reports on…

The return of swine flu (remember good ol’ H1N1 ?), a partial solar eclipse, some woman as president of Brazil, dead fishes as well as dead birds in Arkansas & now dead birds in Louisiana too.

Add to those the ongoing floods in Australia & it’s not really weird to wonder about what the Hell might be happening.



But it’s especially disconcerting after what was said about 2010 at the end of last year.

All sorts of religious peeps appeared on TV to talk about how awful 2010 had been & that while the new year would bring change one needed to embrace that which was to come or something to that effect.

Well, I dunno about you but I don’t want to hug no dead fish OR swine flu OR a flood.



Come back 2010 !

COME BACK !!!

…hm, I guess it’s no use now, 2010 is really gone.



Happy new year & welcome… to 2011 !


Funny Monkey !!!

October 27, 2010



Going by what some locals told them, scientists were able to make a weird discovery in Burma recently.

& while these scientists are primatologists, their discovery has nothing to do with Than Shwe or insights on his behaviour.

Instead, what they discovered was a small population of a previously unknown type of monkey.



Estimated at no more than 330 individuals, this monkey population belongs to the so-called “snub-nosed” variety

Oddly enough, although the scientists saw these creatures for themselves, thus confirming that they’re real & do exist, no picture whatsoever accompanied this news.

A CGI impression however was released…



Snub-Nosed Monkey



Whoa, truly a face only a mother could love.

But why does it seem so… familiar ?

Look closer…

No really LOOK !



Snub-Nose Close-Up



Do you see it ?

Yup.

It’s.. it’s…



Snub-Noses



Scared yet ?

I know I am.

*cue Vincent Price laughter*


Woman Defends Rape Crime

May 17, 2010



Actor, director & all-round disgusting little man Woody Allen (AKA that pervert with the glasses) has come out in support of Roman Polanski.

(Roman Polanski) “was embarrassed by the whole thing”, “has suffered” (&) “has paid his dues.”

He was embarrassed ? He suffered ? HE ?!?



But wait, there is more…

(Roman Polanski is) “an artist & is a nice person” (who) “did something wrong & he paid for it.”

So, nice artistic persons drug & rape 13-year-old girls ? & fleeing to another country before being sentenced is paying for it ?? WTF ???



Just what is it with these celeb people & defending that which is clearly wrong ?

Is it the overpriced bottled municipal tap water mountain spring water they all drink that brings on a lack of common sense ??

Or could there be something new being passed around in Hollywood’s celebrity circles that’s more powerful than STDs & Scientology combined ???



You know, for a second or 2 there I almost wondered if the Vatican would be next to come out in support of poor ol’ Roman.

But then I remembered they prefer underage boys instead of underage girls.

My mistake.



In any case, this unusual but certainly not unexpected pairing of Allen & Polanski has reminded me of other celeb pairings.

Remember how Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck were named “Bennifer” or more recently, Angelina & Brad became “Brangelina” ?

Now those were just stupid sounding name mashes but in this case, Mr Allen + Mr Polanski =



WoMan 😯



Scary coincidence or the awful truth ?



Source: Who knew Woody would turn out crazy as well as disgusting ?

Harmful / Humorous / Hope

February 2, 2010


There are many kinds of people on this planet.

But for simplicity’s sake, let’s just look at 2 of those…

– There’s people who destroy their health on a daily basis

– & PR spokespersons who unknowingly explain things in a funny way


Indonesian Andi Susanto is an example of the #1 type.

Ever since being a little Andi (schoolboy age) he’s smoked cigarettes.

It had been always fine” he told The Jakarta Post.

Of course it had Andi, of course it had.


Anyhoo, as Andi (31 now) sped to his security guard job on his motorcycle, he lit up his 3rd tobacco roll.

Imagine his surprise when instead of finding the smooth heart stopping taste and rich lung destroying flavor, he was greeted by…

an explosion !

It knocked out several of his teeth, lead to 51 stitches & scars for life.


Now no one really knows why the cigarette decided to explode but the cigarette company behind Andi’s brand of choice made a statement…

We do not put any strange materials in the cigarettes, so we think that this is a weird case. This is the first time for us.

That’s right, not only are there NO strange materials whatsoever in cigarettes but should you happen to find any then the manufacturers didn’t put them there.

Thankfully, otherwise you might think they’re dangerous or something…


Scared of losing business Out of the goodness of their hearts, the tobacco company decided to fork over cash ($535) in an out-of-court settlement & also pay for the medical treatments.

As for Andi ?

He said he was going to try & quit.

Bit of a shame it took something extreme like an exploding cigarette but good for you Andi, good for you…


Source: Who knew those crazy PR people had a sense of humor ?

Meanwhile… In Malaysia

January 8, 2010






Mad Malaysia


Who knew those crazy extremists had a sense of humor ?


Hey Ladies, Wanna Join Uncle Mo’s Book Club ?

November 17, 2009

Since 9/11, you might’ve heard reports of a certain plan.

A plan to overthrow all of the Western nations & turn them into…

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

…Muslim nations !!! *dramatic gasp*



Now, obviously, only an idiot would would mistake this tale for truth.

Enter the idiot…

Muammar al-Gaddafi AKA The Colonel.

Or as I like to call him “Crazy Uncle Mo”.

Anyhoo, some time ago Uncle Mo said:


“There are signs that Allah will grant Islam victory in Europe – without swords, without guns, without conquests. The 50 million Muslims of Europe will turn it into a Muslim continent within a few decades.”



Like I said, CRAZY Uncle Mo.



But he’s not one of those polarizing figures who just play up the rhetoric.

No no.

He’s actually begun converting Europe all by himself.

& stop #1 on his Euro Islamakeover Tour?

Rome, Italy !



Strange fact = only women of high length were allowed to attend his ramblings speech.

Sooo… seeing as almost half of the population was ignored & since most women aren’t tall, means this was a pretty pretty tough selection.

This type of action somehow reminds me of the similarly crazy Soup Nazi



Crazy Uncle Mo Holding A Book Sale


Convert-All-Non-Muslims-To-Islam-Plan or not, it’s still kinda creepy Uncle Mo actually went ahead & did this.

…unless of course, Uncle Mo wanted to help Berlusconi get rid of those pesky Veline.

Anyhoo, when it comes to Libyans, I can’t help recalling what a certain teenager once said back in 1985:

EB: Oh, my God, they found me, I don’t know how, but they found me. Run for it Marty !
MM: Who ? Who ?
EB: Who do you think ? The Libyans !!!
MM: Holy shit !



Holy shit indeed.

Still, all this has left me wondering what a small woman wearing a veil would look like…



Veiled little woman



Sooo… what the hell is wrong with that picture ???

Oh Uncle Mo, you so crazee !


Incompetence… Thy Name Is John Law

August 19, 2009

For some time now, my lovely neighbours have been doing… it.

Yes, IT.

Oh not everyday but certainly loud enough that everyone who lives nearby must’ve woken up to their “workouts” at least… oh, I don’t know… every time IT happens.

I type “woken up” because they always do IT around 4.

04:00 AM that is.

Just around the time when you’re supposed to be well on your way to Dreamland, these… sounds begin to emerge from their bedroom & you realize it is no nightmare but reality.



@ 1st, long ago, I thought a woman was being hurt.

Hurt BAD.

Seriously, it did not sound good.

Soon however, it became quite apparent that the cries of agony were actually something entirely different.



Anyway, 14 sleepless months later last night, after their latest exchange of bodily fluids, I had had enough !

Yes, I had reached my limit & realized that I had to do something about this matter.

It was time for action !

I decided I was going to call… the cops !



So, the following day (yes, during daytime) I phoned them up & told this officer that my neighbours had been making loud noises late at night.

The officer’s reply you ask ?



Is this happening now ?

🙄



Unable to ignore the idiocy of the remark I somehow still managed a calm “No, it’s daytime now“.

Then came the dreaded question.

What kind of noises are they making ?

So, I had no choice but to name IT.

Now, that was pretty awful but then came the officer’s reply…



Oh, but sex isn’t forbidden.



You know, it’s funny that just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse… it suddenly does.

But wait, there’s more…

A little later I had to endure “Is it the boinking of their bed or sexual voices ?

@ this point I laughed out loud & asked the officer if he was being serious.

He was.

So, I went with option #2 & got told that they’d send someone over to talk to them… sometime.



Yeah, I sure showed those fucking neighbours of mine !

😦

Unsolved Mystery… SOLVED !

August 17, 2009

Hi there.

Do you like unexplained phenomena ?

Yeah, I’ll bet you do.

@ 1 point or another, everyone will ponder about such things as the Loch Ness monster, UFOs & Mothman.



So for this entry, I’d like to write about a similar kind of mystery.

It’s 1 of those enigmas that you can’t stop wondering about.

Let me put it to you in the form of a question…



Have you ever wondered what’s under a burqa ?



Yeah, I’ll bet you have.

Go ahead & think about it right now…



Women wearing burqas



…well ?

No idea ?

You give up ?

Ok, I’ll tell you what’s underneath a burqa.

Why, another burqa of course !

:mrgreen:



But seriously, the mystery of whatever’s beneath this… clothing item might be solved thanks to a new law in Afghanistan of all places.

You see, earlier this year a law proposal came about that would give married men certain… rights.

Meant to govern family life, the law stated women (unless ill) were forced to **** their husbands every 4 days.

This then led to all sorts of protests in & outside of Afghanistan.

As for the reasons why your typical 9-year old Afghan female wouldn’t want to regularly **** her adoring husband, I can only speculate.

Ok, so maybe it turned all married women into potential rape victims but then again, no one ever said marriage was a slice of heaven.



Anyhoo, all that protesting eventually paid off & the law went back to the ol’ drawingboard for some reviewing.

& now it’s back. (YAY !)

New & improved, the law now states husbands may withhold food if their wives refuse to indulge their manly urges.

😯



So, by fulfilling his needs she’ll get paid for services rendered… with food.

A basic daily need in return for doing whatever it is he likes to do.

Now, let’s think about this for second, shall we ?

WTF ? This law actually turns a wife into your very own personal whore.

With laws like these, who needs the Taliban ?



But no need to worry, the law is only to help President Hamid Karzai win votes intended for the Shia minority, who make up about 10% of Afghanistan’s population.

As for all those women in the 90% of the population group, they can take it easy.

For now.

As a separate family law for them (the Sunni majority) is now also being drawn up.



Anyways, back to the matter @ hand.

What is under a burqa ?” you ask ?

Very thin women. 😦



Got Food ?


There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #6

April 9, 2009

Welcome to another instalment of this irregular series of posts about that other side of humanity.

Have you ever thought about what the I-net is used for ?

You can use it for e-mailing a relative for example.

Or for playing a game of chess with some stranger on the other side of the planet.

Some however use web search engines to look for pictures.

Special certain pictures.

Perhaps you do too.

Do you secretly download pics off Google ?

Pics no one else must see ?

Pics that others might not tolerate ?

Pics showing your object of desire ?

Pics of a sexy…



chair ?


No ?

A young & wild refrigerator perhaps ?

No ??

Ok, what about that global landmark the Eiffel Tower ?

No ???

Hmmm, I guess you’re not an OS then.



…an objectum-sexual 😯


& just in case you think I made it all up, here’s the odd link o’ truth.



True Love


There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #5

February 18, 2009

Welcome to another instalment of this irregular series of posts about that other side of humanity.

Once upon a time…

There was a nice man who lived in America called Muzzammil Hassan.

(Yes, he is muslim but that’s not really relevant)

He was so nice that when his wife, Aasiya Hassan, asked for a divorce because of physical abuse he murdered her by beheading her.

(Yes, she was muslim as well but again not really relevant)

So, not a very nice man after all, right ?

Welllll, he used to be.

Back in 2004 he was part of the effort to launch “Bridges TV”, the 1st English spoken muslim TV channel for North America.

See ? That was quite nice.

Bridges TV came about because following the events of September 2001 there was an increasing focus on fanatical/stereotypical Islam in US media.

The idea was to counter this with a more accurate portrayal.

Here’s a quote by the CEO of the channel:

Bridges TV gives American muslims a voice & will depict them in everyday, real life situations.”

Makes one wonder why Muzzammil Hassan couldn’t have been more like that nice CEO ?



they’re one & the same 😯



(Now that part really IS relevant but unfortunately many won’t see it that way)

& just in case you think I made it all up, here’s the despicable link o’ truth.

There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #4

November 14, 2008

Welcome to another instalment of this irregular series of posts about that other side of humanity.

Once upon a time…

there was this heroic young girl in Germany.

I say heroic because one day she saw a child of non-German descent being attacked by a group of neo-Nazis.

She tried to help the poor child but then the neo-Nazis turned the attack on her.

Like a roasted pig, she was carved in her thigh with the shape of a swastika.

What a brave girl ! So brave in fact that she was awarded with an award some months after.

Well, it was all made up.

Except for the swastika, it was really on her thigh as a wound.



self-inflicted wound that is 😯



& just in case you think I made it all up, here’s the despicable link o’ truth.

The Miracle Of… Pop ???

July 1, 2008

Having worked at a friend’s house on a hot day had made me thirsty.

Unfortunately, he had nothing to quench it with.

As the time passed my thirst grew more & more intense.

& while we were going to end the day by celebrating (drinking !!!) @ a restaurant it wasn’t that time of day just yet.

So, upon finally walking to the trainstation my thoughts turned to finding some much needed fluids.

As logic would have it, there was a vendor @ the station but none of the others would join me in buying something to drink.

(How they haven’t developed kidney stones, I cannot tell you.)

Anyhoo, we walked up to the platforms to wait for the next train where I saw a vending machine.

It was then & there that I decided to spend some coins on a can o’ lemonade.

So, I stepped up to the thingie & looked for the choices offered & the necessary $$$ amount.

I quickly settled on “Fanta” & found that I couldn’t put the coins in fast enough.

The mere thought of gulping down some of that fizzy sweetness almost seemed like some sick fantasy about to become reality.

The usual “klang” came, followed a splitsecond later by another.

At least I had my drink but also something else.

As my 2 compadres looked on, I reached down & put my hands into the opening & took out…

TWO cans of soda pop.

Yes, that’s right. On that warm sunny day, for some reason or another, I received a free can.

Generous bastard that i am, I offered it to my amazed onlookers but they declined.

The sense of wonder was no less for it though.

Now I don’t know about you but that’s a sign in my book.

A sign that if you say “fuck it” & put your own wishes ahead of others you may accomplish something far far greater than you ever expected in your life.

What’s that ? “Did I drink the 2 cans of Fanta ?

Of course not, that would’ve been sacrilegious.

I just held on until the train arrived, then stepped out @ the next station, then walked about 10 minutes to find the restaurant, which then became inadequate, then changed the plans to another restaurant, then walked another 10 minutes, finally walked inside, mercifully sat down & ordered a bottle o’ coke.

…it was a small bottle.

Fancy Having A Go @… A Penguin ???

May 2, 2008

I am speechless.

I am without speech.

For you see, I just came across some news that’s just… just… well…

It comes down to this:

A seal raped a poor defenseless penguin for over 40 minutes.

😯

Let me repeat that for you, in case it ain’t registering.

An animal from one type of species tried to force itself onto another type of species.

“Is that like a goldfish humping a snail ?” I hear you ask.

Of course not !

Goldfishes don’t dry hump :mrgreen:

Anyhoo, one of the scientists who observed the… “spectacle” said “At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin“.

Now I have no idea what this did to the penguin’s emotional state but somehow I think it would’ve preferred dying instead of being exposed to the dark fantasies of that seal for nearly an hour.

The bizarre link o’ truth.

There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #3

April 18, 2008

Folks, I think I’m losing the battle here.

I really am.

There’s hardly any faith left from me for humanity.

“What happened ?” I hear you ask (although it could just be the voices in my head).

Well, if you really must know…

2 ladies in their seventies “befriended” homeless men only to murder them for money !

😯

Just in case you think I made it all up, here’s the link o’ truth.

There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #2

January 25, 2008

Ok, I have no idea how I’m going to explain this new installment of “Sick Peeps”.

However, I aims to please me legion of fans so I’ll give it a go.

Imagine if you will, a short fan-fic about…

The Batman !

Cool right ?

[Lex Luthor]WRONG !!![/Lex Luthor]

From the get-go this (virtually) penned atrocity comes with a twist so improbable even my good pal M. Night Shyamalan would puke after reading it.

It’s called “Batman: Nemesis Fight” & it’s quite likely unlike any other story you have read before or will ever read from this moment on.

Oh, I hear your naïve thoughts: “How bad could it possibly be ?

Just try to think of an example & you’ll simply fail. Yes, for no one in their right mind could’ve written this.

As a matter of fact, it’s SO bad it’s good but again not like you’re expecting.

So go ahead & try it out. You’ve got nothing to lose & only something to gain here.

Like, for example, the story you’ll be able to tell your adopted grandkids right before you’re hauled off to wherever it is ol’ folks end up.

Here’s the link that once again will proveth the horrid truth…

There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #1

December 25, 2007

Another day, another surf.

Looking for stuff*on the internet, I’ve come across a lot of vintage crap.

You know things that make you think things like “Holy Moley !” or “What if my boss sees this…” & the classic “ewww”.

So, having nothing else to do, I’ve decided that if & when I come across these things, I’ll post ’em right here.

YES ! You too will be able to expierence my virtual misadventures from now on…

Up first, it’s… well… uh…

Well, you know how some peeps like to make their own toys out of existing ones ? And you know the difference between the male body & the female body, right ?

Right ???

Well think again, spanky… think again REAL hard ’cause it’s all downhill from now on.

Don’t post I didn’t warn you…

wtf

😯

And in case you think I made it all up, the link that proveth the horrid truth…

http://www.katrinkinsler.de/objekte/Toys/indexshemen.htm

(*what I look for is my business thank you very much)