Archive for the ‘Ooo Laa Laa’ Category

Stop.Playing.With.IT. #01 – OMG !

August 11, 2012



?

Oh ! Uhhh, hello there.

I-I-I… didn’t expect you here today.



Because while I wish I had the usual fantastic post for you, I’m afraid there is none.

You see, I’ve been rather distracted lately because of…

…well uhhh, I’m sorta ashamed to type it really.



It’s filthy !

It’s disgusting !

It’s… a perversion.



It’s… it’s…

…it’s food. Yes, f-o-o-d.

FOOD !



Why is it perverse ?

Because it’s like totally the most pornographic thing ever.

EVER.



But don’t take my word for it.

No no no.

Just take a look below this & experience how sick food can be…






NSFW Food Porn



NSFW Food Porn



NSFW Food Porn






O_O

& now, if you’ll excuse me…

…I need a cold shower.


Come Rain Or Shine

June 5, 2012



Tomorrow’s gonna be a special day for 2 people.

Because for better or worse, there’s gonna be a wedding.

& hopefully, there’ll be some good weather but juuust in case…



…I’m gonna try that whole talking-to-a-higher-power-routine.

*ahem*

Uh, are you there ? Do you hear me ? Give us a sign of your powers…






Thor Girl !



Oh, scantily clad cosplayin’ Thor girl, don’t fail us now & keep things dry tomorrow !


Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

April 10, 2012



Ok, ladies… whoops, I meant feminists.

What do we want ?

Women’s rights !



Very good.

When do want ’em ?

NOW !



Uh-Huh, & for whooo ?

US !

Yeaaah, & who else ?



…whaddaya mean “who else ?” ?

Well, the term “women’s rights” is sooo exclusive that it’s downright sexist.

So, include men.



Yes, men.

No, not burly, tree chopping, sweaty, hairy men.

But men like Walter Talackova






Girl... Power !






As you can see, there’s been a few changes since the gender reassignment surgery & hormone treatments.

Walter Talackova now goes by the name of “Jenna” Talackova & apparently loves competing in beauty contests.

Sure, a transgender person willingly choosing a name that’s similar to “Geni-tal, Lack Of A” might seem pretty odd but back in the Walter days, it already had “Lack Ova” in there.



Anyhoo, it must’ve been a real… *ahem* drag for this beauty… *ahem* queen to have entered the Miss Universe pageant.

Or rather trying to enter it, as Jenna wasn’t allowed to do so because of the (seemingly logical) rule of all contestants needing to have been born a natural woman.

With a scandal brewing & rights groups pushing the issue in the media After some honest soulsearching, the contest officials on their part decided that the Miss Universe contest would now be open to non-original women too.



But even though I personally have never heard of a… man (???) who’s into waving 24/7 or gives “world peace” as an answer to every question, there’s still the bigger picture to consider here.

At this very moment there are many heterosexual males out there thinking something along the lines of “Yech !” or worse “Yecch !!!” because for them today, the Apocalypse has very much arrived.

Unlike before, they will now no longer feel safe to automatically lust after Miss Universe contestants & fear they might become tranny chasers.



To all those men, let me ask you a question: “Don’t you think it’s intolerant of you to treat her differently ?”

Now, you might think: But what about the fake eyelashes, artificial nails, filler injected lips, breast implants, hair extensions, etc. ?

Weeelllll, yeah ok… but I think Jenna will fit in perfectly with those women.






Source


Oh, Wonder Of Wonders !

January 11, 2012



Well, I guess in the end it was inevitable.

They’d been doing ok sofar but now it seems the ongoing austerity measures have hit yet another minority group.

& although I’m not in the profession myself, it’s unfortunate as seeing them not being immune to cutting back on spending is somewhat disconcerting.



I am typing of course about superheroines or to be more precise, about their figure hugging costumes.

But don’t take my word for it.

Look…






Wonder Woman Costume Recycled






From an upcoming episode of the TV series “Harry’s Law”, that’s actress Erica Durance dressed up as Wonder Woman.

Does the outfit seem familiar somehow ?

It should as it’s the very same costume from that earlier failed Wonder Woman pilot starring Adrianne Palicki…






Wonder Woman Costume Recycled






Yeaaah, I don’t think the whole world was ever ready for this costume & just when we thought we’d seen the end of it, it comes back to haunt us.

Well, at least they stayed away from the shiny pants.

…this time ?



Hey TV, you had better watch it !

Because Hell hath no fury like a (wonder) woman (costume) scorned.

& it will smite your broadcasts down with Amazonian force !









Obvious… Yet Can’t Put Your Finger On It

December 16, 2011



From a BBC report:

Human rights groups in Bangladesh have demanded a severe punishment for the husband of a young wife who allegedly cut off most of her right hand.

Police say Rafiqul Islam, 30, attacked her because she pursued higher education without his permission.

Doctors say the fingers cannot be re-attached and it appears that Ms Akther will have to live with permanent disfigurement.



Wow, that’s truly awf… wait, what was that name again ?

Rafiqul… Islam ???

Hmmmmm.



Yeah, sooo…

Weeelllll

…nah, it’s just too easy.



Oh, what the Hell !

I mean, it is nearly X-Mas, right ?

Ok, lemme see here…



– When it comes to the household, Mr Islam has all the fingers in the pie.

– Bangladeshi proverb for women: Seeking education is like giving the finger to your husband… literally.

– The finger points towards you Mr Islam… all 5 of them !



– I guess he wanted her to wrap her fingers around him… in bandages.

– There goes 1 man who prefers to “work” his wife’s fingers right to the bone.

– Education can have severed consequences for women.



& because the obvious is funny too…

– Well whaddaya know, all those rightwinged fearmongers were right about “Islam” being evil after all !

But in light of this tragedy, let’s be serious for a moment here.



Mr Islam, I dunno if you’re currently reading this great post but your point of view is totally understandable.

What was this woman thinking to do such a thing ?

& since you love fingers so much I figured I’d give you a nice gift for this holiday season…



Giving Da Finger To Mr Islam


L’Amour Est Vaste !

November 9, 2011



I suppose we’ve all been there, 1 time or another.

You find yourself making a joke about someone but instead of them laughing about it, they’re hurt.

Yeah, even though you meant well the person in question just doesn’t appreciate your (attempt at) humour.



That can be quite akward.

So, what to do after your joke has failed ?

What can you say or do to the hurt party & make things better ?



Apologize & then promise never to do it again ?

Hell NO !

You give ’em the lurve they want, the lurve they so desperately need !






Charlie Hebdo Sweet Lurve Cover






Makes you feel all warm inside, don’t it ?


It’s A Small-Minded Country… After All ?

June 28, 2011



EVERYBODY !:

It’s a country of fears
A country of tears
It’s a country of hateful edicts
& a country of bloody conflicts
There’s so little that’s fair
That it’s time we’re aware
It’s a small-minded country after all !




But seriously…

February 11th 2011 was called “The Friday Of Departure”.

But it maybe it could also be known as “Goodbye Hosni & Hel-looo Selective Democracy !“.



Because less than 5 months after that 11th of February, there’s trouble brewing in Egypt.

Certain Muslims there recently reacted angr… yes, I know nothing new there… but hear me out here… reacted angrily to what they deemed to be an attack on Islam.

& no, it’s not about the pyramids being un-Islamic atrocities, nor is it about the Great Sphinx not wearing a veil.



Nope, instead it’s about a tweet by fellow Egyptian yet Coptic Christian, Naguib Sawiris.

As no doubt so many have done before, this disgustlingly rich telecommunications mogul put up 2 funny looking pictures he’d come across.

They depict Mickey & Minnie Mouse as Muslims, dressed in traditional Islamic garb.



Now, that could’ve been picked up as: “Good, Mickey has finally converted to the 1 true faith !” or “Haha, this is a funny pic !” & also “It’s good to see this can happen now that Mubarak is gone !”.

But instead a cleric expressed his anger on TV, several lawyers filed complaints & the people themselves started a Facebook page against it.

All that & death threats apparently too.



Sooo, freedom of speech isn’t part of the all-new free & democratic Egypt ?

& since when does making fun of extremists = making fun of Islam ??

What, are they as holy & untouchable as Allah now ???



Whether you’re a moderate Muslim or a Coptic Christian, with nonsense actions like these, it must be tough being an Egyptian nowadays.

Mubarak’s barely gone & freedom should flourish but it’s already being stifled by the small-minded brigades.

Lawyers should’ve filed legal documents against these idiots & others of that ilk for destroying the reputation of Islam across the world with their un-Islamic behaviour.






Drag Queen Mickey





Now The World Is Ready For Youuu !

March 30, 2011



Suffering Sappho !

What the Hell happened ?

Did DC, NBC or David E Kelley actually listen to the outcry of the fanboys in comicbook community ???






Wonder Woman 2011



In any case, it looks alot better now.

I guess we’ve seen the last of those evil shiny fetish pants… or have we ?

Only time will tell so stay tuned complaining Wondy fans !


World Domination Through World Peace

March 29, 2011



Ohhh man, I haven’t been feeling too good lately.

Certain emotions, that I’m not accustomed to, are presently running through me & I fear for where it all might lead to.

This all started when I was minding my own business when all of a sudden…



She happened !!!

But don’t take my word for it.

Oh no, see for yourself & experience the horror !






Shanna Bukhari, Muslim model



Yesss, stare into her wicked eyes & let lust slowly but surely corrupt your soul to its very depths.

Meet 24-year-old Shanna Bukhari, she’s a regular British girl who works as a model & now, having made the 2011 finals, stands a good chance to win the opportunity to represent the UK in the Miss Universe pageant.

Buuut, according to certain crazed fanatics concerned citizens she’s nothing more than a foul temptress who’s going against the teachings of Islam.



Hmmm, choices choices…

Will the real Shanna please stand up ?

You know, it might help if we hear from Shanna herself…


“People are attacking me, using religion as a tool, but is it really religion ?”

“Or are you really jealous of a girl coming forward and not allowing anyone to dictate to her ?”

“There are people out there who want to control women.”



Huh ?

Ok, I’m confused now.

Aren’t these the same fana… uh, concerned citizens who want to conquer the entire world in the name of The Almighty One ?



What would be better than having a hot Muslim chick sneak up on Western infidels & blind them into a false sense of security ?

But from the citizens POV, I guess it IS wrong to have women acting all “hey, look at me guys !” when it’s far far better to have them shut up, sit at home & cook for their husband along with the other 2 wives in his harem.

However, it’s not Shanna’s fault or even her parents’ DNA she looks like this as it was The Almighty One who created her in the first place.



Sooo, how come these nutjo… uh, concerned citizens don’t go pray to their interpretation of a divine being & ask it to cease creating all these delicious looking females that put sinful thoughts into the pureness that is Islamic manhood ???

Wouldn’t it be a far better world to live on if all women had like thick coarse facial hair, missed several if not most of their teeth & of course never developed breasts ?

Whoa, typing all of this has made me feel sinful again… must… fight… unnatural… biological… urges… help… me… oh… Lord…


How I Wonder Who You Are

March 19, 2011



Tiara, magical bracelets & Lasso Of Truth ? Check !

Bustier O’ Justice ? Check & double check !

Shiny unnaturally bright looking colours ? Check !



What does that spell out ?

Adrianne Palicki as Diana Prince for the upcoming NBC TV pilot “Wonder Woman” written by David E Kelley or…

…unintentionally-funny-looking/could’ve-been-better costume ?






Wonder Woman 2011



Good luck fighting crime & I guess being taken seriously…


This Time… It’ll Really Work !

October 15, 2010



I suppose it was only a matter of time until it finally happened.

An announcement was made & now the Jade Giant, the Green Goliath, the one & only Hulk will return.

Yet again.



No no, this isn’t about his appearance in “The Avengers” in 2012.

It’s another solo effort for the incredible one.

But what’s really incredible is that Marvel apparently doesn’t know when to call it quits.



Why are they so keen on continuing to peddle the (sofar-not-so-incredible) Hulk franchise after so many previous attempts did not generate successful results ?

None of the past Hulk cartoons had a long run & the latest one “Hulk: Gamma Corps” was cancelled while still in the pre-production stage.

Meanwhile, the 2 recent live-action movies both, for different reasons, failed to really capture the interest of Joe & Jane Moviegoer.



Ok, cartoons didn’t last & movies didn’t work.

So… what’s left ?

Well, apparently a brand new live-action TV series ?!?!



While the original 70s TV series starring Bill Bixby & Lou Ferrigno was eventually cancelled, it was & still is the most successful incarnation of the Hulk outside comics.

Bring back the original intro & outro themes, add some realistic looking CGI & this might just work.

Oh & while you’re at it, introduce a certain female cousin who practices law…



Jen Tells It Like it Is


Wonder No More

July 1, 2010



Hello & welcome to the 2nd half of 2010 !

According to stats, visitations to this lil’ blog o’ mine have increased dramatically these last few days.

I suppose I could make some sort of calculation to find out exactly how much of an increase but this ain’t no math blog.



Anyway, going over the list of search engine terms, there’s the daily usual (hot women) but also several new type of searches.

Suddenly, people have been looking for things like “wonder woman deodato”, “wonder woman issue 600” & “diana prince” .

Hmmm, I wonder if something’s up with ol’ Wondy ?



Now just to be clear here, I am not reading Wonder Woman comics, I’ve never seen the TV series with Lynda Carter & the fact that Joss Whedon couldn’t deliver the live-action movie version doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Ok, she gets points for the whole amazon warrior thingy but she’s just no Jennifer Walters.

However, anything that increases traffic to my blog must be good, right ?



First things first, who is Wonder Woman ?

Once upon a time, a queen from an isolated island full of immortal women wished for a child. The Greek Gods granted her that wish by bringing a piece of clay to life. Named Diana, she grew up as a princess.

Eventually, she left the island & now armed with the Lasso Of Truth & Bracelets Of Victory (& sometimes an invisible plane) she seeks to bring peace to the world of man as Wonder Woman.



…ok, that spells pretty weird & kinda boring in just about any language but seeing as her comic has been around since the 40s of the last century, how bad could it possibly be ?

Well, apparently bad enough to lose so many of its readers that DC are now desperate enough to accept Babylon 5 creator JMS’ drastic proposal to take Wondy in a new direction & a new less revealing outfit complete with *gasp* pants & a jacket designed by Jim Lee.



Wondy's new jacket look



Guess everything old is new again because some 15 years ago DC decided to change Wondy’s outfit by adding 2 things…



Wondy's old jacket look



Short tight pants & a jacket that never closed but sometimes came off.

Oh yeah, things were better back in the 90s.


A Special Message For A Special Someone

February 14, 2010



It’s the ’80s.

CBS airs a successful TV series starring Bill Bixby & Lou Ferrigno.

It is called “The Incredible Hulk”.



However, this success & the fact that “The Six Million Dollar Man” TV series lead to spin-off “The Bionic Woman” leaves Marvel Comics with fears that sooner or later a female version of the green monster will be introduced.

Not wanting to lose ownership for this hypothetical character, Stan Lee & John Buscema create her origin for Marvel…



Since her 1st appearance back then, she’s had 3 comic series of her own, multiple appearances in other comics, guest roles in cartoons & even rumours of her starring in a live action movie.

Hopefully someday.



February 2010 marks her 30th anniversary.

That is a milestone event & nothing in the entire Universe was going to keep us from congratulating the world’s sexiest, sassiest & strongest superheroine.



From everyone here at X-Mer, sincere congratulations on this sensational anniversary of yours, Jennifer.

May your success continue to shine for another 30 years & more…






Congrats Jen !


Hey Ladies, Wanna Join Uncle Mo’s Book Club ?

November 17, 2009

Since 9/11, you might’ve heard reports of a certain plan.

A plan to overthrow all of the Western nations & turn them into…

(wait for it)

(wait for it)

…Muslim nations !!! *dramatic gasp*



Now, obviously, only an idiot would would mistake this tale for truth.

Enter the idiot…

Muammar al-Gaddafi AKA The Colonel.

Or as I like to call him “Crazy Uncle Mo”.

Anyhoo, some time ago Uncle Mo said:


“There are signs that Allah will grant Islam victory in Europe – without swords, without guns, without conquests. The 50 million Muslims of Europe will turn it into a Muslim continent within a few decades.”



Like I said, CRAZY Uncle Mo.



But he’s not one of those polarizing figures who just play up the rhetoric.

No no.

He’s actually begun converting Europe all by himself.

& stop #1 on his Euro Islamakeover Tour?

Rome, Italy !



Strange fact = only women of high length were allowed to attend his ramblings speech.

Sooo… seeing as almost half of the population was ignored & since most women aren’t tall, means this was a pretty pretty tough selection.

This type of action somehow reminds me of the similarly crazy Soup Nazi



Crazy Uncle Mo Holding A Book Sale


Convert-All-Non-Muslims-To-Islam-Plan or not, it’s still kinda creepy Uncle Mo actually went ahead & did this.

…unless of course, Uncle Mo wanted to help Berlusconi get rid of those pesky Veline.

Anyhoo, when it comes to Libyans, I can’t help recalling what a certain teenager once said back in 1985:

EB: Oh, my God, they found me, I don’t know how, but they found me. Run for it Marty !
MM: Who ? Who ?
EB: Who do you think ? The Libyans !!!
MM: Holy shit !



Holy shit indeed.

Still, all this has left me wondering what a small woman wearing a veil would look like…



Veiled little woman



Sooo… what the hell is wrong with that picture ???

Oh Uncle Mo, you so crazee !


Would You Like A Bra With That Comic, Sir ?

September 18, 2009

Hey kids ! Comics !

…kids ?



With such distractions as videogames, drugs & pets, comics haven’t been reaching their original audience since the last century.

& while comic books are still being published, nowadays they’re mostly read by “adult” men. Thus the material isn’t even really aimed at kids anymore.

So with kids a lost cause and the current readers growing older by the day, comic book publishers must do something… anything to survive.

Like for example attracting… women readers !



Women however don’t wanna go anywhere near comics, which is a bit of a problem if you want their $$$.

Sure, they read Manga & sometimes even Fantasy themed comics like Sandman but rarely do they read superhero type of comics.

Not only are they apathetic if Doctor Doom wants to kill the Fantastic Four to death, they also find superhero comics to be nothing more than male-oriented power fantasies with a sexist approach to female characters.



So, I can only imagine the ecstatic happiness both DC & Marvel Disney are feeling about Agent Provocateur‘s new lingerie collection Slutty Cheapness “Autumn” being based on the concept of Super Heroines…



WTF ?


Meet Agent Provocateur Elite Xemplar AKA “APEX“, the new super heroines from the planet Voluptura (yes, Voluptura).

According to Agent Provocateur’s site they’re: “a group of genetically enhanced superwomen on a mission. & dressed in our latest collection of spectacular lingerie how can they fail ?

Wow !

Just knowing they’re out there, making the world a better place in their unmentionables makes me feel safer already.

& you can’t go wrong with such classic names like “Hornette” & “Nymphette”, now can you ?

& if you’re wondering, yes, they do have a leader…

Crystalina



WTF ?


There’s even a trailer for the upcoming “graphic” novel by writer Brady Webb & artist Staz Johnson







Makes you wonder if the Mouse will go all Mwahaha-Hostile-Takeover on these characters too.

Can you imagine Minnie, Daisy & Clarabelle wearing next to nothing in the name of female empowerment ? 😯

It’s Not Easy Being Green

August 1, 2009

You might have search-engined her stunning pic(s) back to this very blog before but even if you’re new here, I’d still like you to welcome back…

the world’s sexiest…

sassiest…

& strongest superheroine.

The one…

the only…



She-Hulk !



Now before you scroll down fully aroused or even turned off @ the thought of seeing pictures of my fave Gamma Gal, I’d like to point out a difference.

Sure, @ 1st glance this entry might seem like the latest in a long line of posts filled with gratuitous pics of semi-naked muscular women superheroines BUT there’s a good reason this time…



You see Marvel is finally really pushing the name “She-Hulk” these days, which would normally be a good thing since her very own comicbook was cancelled just recently.

However, none of these initiatives actually involve her.

Sound confusing ?

Well, worry no more ’cause you’re just 1 downwards scroll away from total enlightment…



Example I:

WTF ?


Right as the original’s comic was being cancelled this new version showed up. That kind of perfect timing could be coincidence but did they have to name her comic “The Savage She-Hulk” ?

Anyway, her name is Lyra & (get this) she’s the genetically engineered daughter of the Hulk… who came all the way from the future (of course), where (if we go by her outfit) there’s an apparent serious shortage of clothing material (the poor thing hulk).

Seem bad ? Well, it gets worse… really…



Example II:

WTF ?


No, not a hoax (but a joke nonetheless) & just announced by Marvel, it’s the all-new (& apparently weapon carrying) RED She-Hulk !

Yeah, why stop at RED skinned Hulk (don’t ask) when you can have a female version running around as well ? Some “writer” must’ve given 1 hell of a pitch because that’s what it comes down to.

& just to be clear, no, this isn’t the original She-Hulk wearing bodypaint or something like that. This… “character” is someone else who just happens to be She-Hulk (in name only) & as you can no doubt see, has even worse luck than Lyra with her outfit.



Now if the red Hulk is named Rulk (yech !), does that make this woman She-Rulk ???

Or… dare I type it… Shrulkie ???

Marvel ! Enough nonsense already ! After the cancellation, the obvious replacement by these 2 fake skanks & the original’s recent & oh so convenient disappearance… WTF’s next, hmmm ?



She-Clulk ??? (The clone of She-Hulk)

She-Zulk ??? (The zombie of She-Hulk)

She-Dulk ??? (The daughter of She-Hulk)

Surely, a monthly 12-part long “Death Of A She-Hulk” storyline would sell like hot cakes & generate mucho $$$ for you. So, just get it over with already & kill the original off. Because as things stand, it would actually be a blessing.



In the meantime, to rinse away the bad tastes & end on a happier note, I’d like to present you all with my very own take on the Real Deal.

Yes, she’s both savage & sensational…

the one & only…



Jennifer Walters



Shulkie


(You too can make your own Shulkie @ the South Park Studio.)

The Ol’ Switcheroo…

June 16, 2009

So, President Obama has managed to con… vince yet another country into taking in Guantanamo terrorists detainees.

Good for him.

But this time it’s none other than Italy’s TV channel owner Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi.

Why the bad boy of Euro politics accepted this plan is anyone’s guess.



…or is it ?

Knowing Silvio’s tactics, he’d only agree to do this if Obama returned the favor…

Somehow.

& seeing as the Prez wants to close Guantanamo at all costs, it’s only logical to think that some kind of deal was struck between them.



What did Obama have to do for this man” you ask ?

Ohhh, nothing really.

You see, just like any other country leader, Sylvio’s got his own fair share of problems.

& thus it was agreed that if Italy were to take in 3 dangerous men, Obama was to take in a couple of troublemakers in return.



Yes, on US soil you will now find 2 of Italy’s greatest threats…

(to Berlusconi’s continued political career that is.)



Obama Vs Osama



Obama, what a guy ! :mrgreen:


2 Years Later…

March 6, 2009

How time flies.

It’s been 2 whole years (woo-hoo !) since I began this crazy blog adventure & I’d like to celebrate this anniversary with you.

So, here’s something delicious…






Pin-Up





Yes, iced cream.

Mmm…

Almost THAT Time Of The Month Again…

October 22, 2008

It’s there.

Teasing me like some Asian chick richly covered in thick… but I digress.

You see, I’ve been having these strong feelings lately.

No, no, you cannot help me.

Like a bad cold in Siberia, it’s unavoidable.

It’s bad for me & yet I find myself loving it !

To tell you the honest truth, I don’t think I’d be able to stop even if I wanted to.

Even all the way in the background it would still succeed in fanning my lust for a lil’ taste.

I can’t – I musn’t – I…

*sigh*

You too might have experienced it sometime in your life.

The temptation & the heartache.

& in that case, no explanations are necessary.

No matter what you had to do, you rose to the challenge & overcame it.

You’re free now.

Best I can do now is manage my problem by actually letting it return into my life.

But on MY terms.

Once a month I purposely indulge my dark desires.

Yes.

I mean what choice do I really have ?

None really.

😡

Damn your crunchy existence, salty snacks !

Chinadoll

Come Taste My Pleasures

Another Day, Another Woman

June 21, 2008

“Look out Elektra, it’s Bullseye !!!”

“Nah, just kidding… hey, what are you gonna do with that sai ?”

“Oooh crap”

No need to worry there bub, ’cause it all turned out just fine in the end.

However did you save yourself ?” I hear you ask.

Well you see, I gave her the address of those guys who made that movie of her.

‘Nuff said :mrgreen: