Striking An Avenging Pose

Sometime during 2012, when the world as we it know ends, (yet) another superhero movie will be released.

Currently filming & titled “The Avengers”, this movie will not only feature superheroes like The Incredible Hulk, The Invincible Iron Man & The (…um, patriotic ???) Captain America but will also bring them together to… avenge… something or someone, I guess.

Now, keeping that in mind, it’s funny how this following Entertainment Weekly cover for the movie that’s supposed to bring all these characters together shows they’re not together at all.

The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

With a result like that, why even bother taking a group pic when Photoshop can do it for you ?

In any case, the cast clearly not standing together isn’t really that weird when compared to how their individual poses & facial expressions look & relate to eachother.

Let’s take a closer look…

Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff AKA Black Widow

Black Widow From The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

Now now Scarlett, we all know you’re angry those nude pics of yours leaked but that’s still no reason to aim your guns at your fellow actors, Robert Downey Jr & Chris Hemsworth.

& speaking of hostage Chris Hemsworth AKA Thor

Thor From The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

What in the name of Odin happened ???

I mean is it just me or has Thor suddenly got a little Kevin Nash/Tyler Mane thing going on & why in heaven’s name ?

Are there no barbers left in Asgard or could this actually somehow be seen as a good look for the character by the executives at Disney ?

Moving on on to Chris Evans as Steve Rogers AKA Captain Avenger America

Captain America From The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

He’s got the super soldier physique, he’s got the costume & he’s got the shield, so why isn’t Steve Rogers looking like he’s got gallons of patriotic heroism oozing out of his pores ?

Captain America ? More like Captain Sad (To-Be-Here-But-I’m-Coping-1-Day-At-A-Time-Thanks-To-Prozac).

Steve Rogers isn’t & shouldn’t be the type that makes you worry about his mental health & I’d type some more but I’m afraid he’ll just start crying & then commit suicide later in the week.

& speaking of mental health, then there’s Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark AKA Iron Man.

Why does Robert Downey Jr look like he’s been arrested for substance abuse (yet again) ?

I mean look at these… & don’t tell me his Iron Man pic doesn’t fit like a glove !

Iron Man From The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

Nothing says heroism quite like the mugshot look.

But seriously, what was the photographer thinking during the shoot ?

& finally, what’s up with Mark Ruffalo as Doctor Bruce Banner ?

As his monstrous alter ego he’s supposed to be “incredible” but as a human being he’s this weakling with serious anger issues & a recurring fondness for durable purple-coloured pants but here that seems different.

Very different even…

Child Molester Man From The MIGHTY Avengers 2012

Maybe that’s supposed to be all dark, broody & mysterious but it comes across more like he’s this escaped mental patient/part-time Russian mobster or something.

Banner used to say “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry !” but now it looks like he’s actually saying “Say a single word & I’ll effing kill you & your entire family ! So, don’t make me kill you. You wouldn’t like me when I’m killing you !”

& why is his shirt purple ? Is this all-new Banner upon transforming into the Hulk going to lose his pants but keep his shirt on instead ???

Amazing how many weird & creepy things can be found in these promo pics & truly, unintentionally funny = the BEST funny.

So, coming in 2012 to a theatre near you…

Those Dysfunctional Avengers !


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