II

08:46



09:03



09:37



10:03

09 09 09 !!!

Bigger than the Hadron Collider (you malfunctioning piece of junk) !

More apocalyptic than 2012 !

& worse than the Disney / Marvel merger !

Is… today’s date.



No, nothing is going to top THIS very day.

Because today it’s the 9th of the 9th of the 9th.

Amazing, right ?

But wait !

Upside down = 666







So, does that mean The Devil will be attacking Australia today ?

Or possibly even the entire (& very much unsuspecting) world ???

Are we headed towards human sacrifice ?

Dogs and cats living together ?!?

Mass hysteria ?!?!?

Yes, this could very well be our Judgment Day.



Let’s see what the Newsies are saying:

Hmmm…

- Naked guy’s kissing wish surprises George Clooney

- Obama gives Stay-In-School-Kids-Speech, Republicans horrified

- Holy monolith used as public toilet by tourists

WTF, that’s it ???

This isn’t exciting, juicy, end-of-the-world news. It’s just your average news crap of the day !



Just goes to show that even special dates happen on ordinary days…

Incompetence… Thy Name Is John Law

For some time now, my lovely neighbours have been doing… it.

Yes, IT.

Oh not everyday but certainly loud enough that everyone who lives nearby must’ve woken up to their “workouts” at least… oh, I don’t know… every time IT happens.

I type “woken up” because they always do IT around 4.

04:00 AM that is.

Just around the time when you’re supposed to be well on your way to Dreamland, these… sounds begin to emerge from their bedroom & you realize it is no nightmare but reality.



@ 1st, long ago, I thought a woman was being hurt.

Hurt BAD.

Seriously, it did not sound good.

Soon however, it became quite apparent that the cries of agony were actually something entirely different.



Anyway, 14 sleepless months later last night, after their latest exchange of bodily fluids, I had had enough !

Yes, I had reached my limit & realized that I had to do something about this matter.

It was time for action !

I decided I was going to call… the cops !



So, the following day (yes, during daytime) I phoned them up & told this officer that my neighbours had been making loud noises late at night.

The officer’s reply you ask ?



“Is this happening now ?“

Unable to ignore the idiocy of the remark I somehow still managed a calm “No, it’s daytime now“.

Then came the dreaded question.

“What kind of noises are they making ?“

So, I had no choice but to name IT.

Now, that was pretty awful but then came the officer’s reply…



“Oh, but sex isn’t forbidden.“



You know, it’s funny that just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse… it suddenly does.

But wait, there’s more…

A little later I had to endure “Is it the boinking of their bed or sexual voices ?“

@ this point I laughed out loud & asked the officer if he was being serious.

He was.

So, I went with option #2 & got told that they’d send someone over to talk to them… sometime.



Yeah, I sure showed those fucking neighbours of mine !

Unsolved Mystery… SOLVED !

Hi there.

Do you like unexplained phenomena ?

Yeah, I’ll bet you do.

@ 1 point or another, everyone will ponder about such things as the Loch Ness monster, UFOs & Mothman.



So for this entry, I’d like to write about a similar kind of mystery.

It’s 1 of those enigmas that you can’t stop wondering about.

Let me put it to you in the form of a question…



Have you ever wondered what’s under a burqa ?



Yeah, I’ll bet you have.

Go ahead & think about it right now…







…well ?

No idea ?

You give up ?

Ok, I’ll tell you what’s underneath a burqa.

Why, another burqa of course !

But seriously, the mystery of whatever’s beneath this… clothing item might be solved thanks to a new law in Afghanistan of all places.

You see, earlier this year a law proposal came about that would give married men certain… rights.

Meant to govern family life, the law stated women (unless ill) were forced to **** their husbands every 4 days.

This then led to all sorts of protests in & outside of Afghanistan.

As for the reasons why your typical 9-year old Afghan female wouldn’t want to regularly **** her adoring husband, I can only speculate.

Ok, so maybe it turned all married women into potential rape victims but then again, no one ever said marriage was a slice of heaven.



Anyhoo, all that protesting eventually paid off & the law went back to the ol’ drawingboard for some reviewing.

& now it’s back. (YAY !)

New & improved, the law now states husbands may withhold food if their wives refuse to indulge their manly urges.

So, by fulfilling his needs she’ll get paid for services rendered… with food.

A basic daily need in return for doing whatever it is he likes to do.

Now, let’s think about this for second, shall we ?

…

WTF ? This law actually turns a wife into your very own personal whore.

With laws like these, who needs the Taliban ?



But no need to worry, the law is only to help President Hamid Karzai win votes intended for the Shia minority, who make up about 10% of Afghanistan’s population.

As for all those women in the 90% of the population group, they can take it easy.

For now.

As a separate family law for them (the Sunni majority) is now also being drawn up.



Anyways, back to the matter @ hand.

“What is under a burqa ?” you ask ?

Very thin women.

Obama Vs Osama – The Things To Come

The tragedies on 9/11 were like a bolt out of the blue – they happened very quickly & very suddenly.

Thus no one was really prepared for the events of that day.



Now, whether you lurve him of hate him, no one really knows how President Obama will react to a (possible) new terror strike.

This has now changed…

Forever.

Sure, he seems like a really nice guy but in reality he’s a cold blooded killer…

Yes, for this is a man who IS prepared to hurt a fly if necessary… with his own bare hands even !



Impressive ’cause a fly isn’t exactly easy to kill:

- Has compound eyes
- Flies really fast
- Quite a small target

& yet the poor bastard didn’t even stand a chance.

No sir, not with Barack on the job. Let’s see Dick Cheney try that (without his gun).



So all you terrorists… be afraid.

Be very afraid

The Ol’ Switcheroo…

So, President Obama has managed to con… vince yet another country into taking in Guantanamo terrorists detainees.

Good for him.

But this time it’s none other than Italy’s TV channel owner Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi.

Why the bad boy of Euro politics accepted this plan is anyone’s guess.



…or is it ?

Knowing Silvio’s tactics, he’d only agree to do this if Obama returned the favor…

Somehow.

& seeing as the Prez wants to close Guantanamo at all costs, it’s only logical to think that some kind of deal was struck between them.



“What did Obama have to do for this man” you ask ?

Ohhh, nothing really.

You see, just like any other country leader, Sylvio’s got his own fair share of problems.

& thus it was agreed that if Italy were to take in 3 dangerous men, Obama was to take in a couple of troublemakers in return.



Yes, on US soil you will now find 2 of Italy’s greatest threats…

(to Berlusconi’s continued political career that is.)







Obama, what a guy !

Reform ? Nah, 4 More Years Of Suppression !

Question:

With more than 40 million people eligible to vote – how can 63% of the ones that actually voted be SO stubborn ???

Answer:

They aren’t.

No one in their right mind would willingly choose for a continuation of a policy of backwardness.

This is pure corruption of power with the goal to keep the status quo for the current leaders intact.

But no matter how mighty, all these types of regimes fall in the end for the will of people who genuinely want freedom cannot & will not be held back…

Obama Vs Osama – Who Do Ya Love ?

Well, well, well.

It looks like the big dukaroo has begun.

Both O’s have started a campaign of their own to get Muslims all across this globe behind their respective agenda’s.

One is in the Middle East to hold a key (historic ?) speech in Cairo, Egypt while the other has begun the mud-slinging from… well, wherever he’s hiding.

So, c’mon & join me as we take a closer look at our 2 candidates.

“…is this like an election ?” I hear you ask.

Yeah kinda but the stakes are way bigger. Huge even.

Ok, so…

- Obama (President) wants to build bridges & find opportunities for a common future.

- Osama (cave dweller) wants more of the same crap.

Gee, how hard will it be for Muslims to decide who to root for ?

I mean they’ll be SO confused. & the names are sooo similar, that sure won’t help.



Anyhoo, Obama’s been here before, remember ?

He first managed to beat Hillary Clinton & then he beat John McCain.

This is just another opponent for him to tackle. (Yes, he can !)

Osama on the other hand has done his fair share of beating(s) too.

Sending countless of deluded men to their deaths to do his dirty work He has defeated many foes of Islam.

Sure it was a bit bloody along the way but that’s passion, right ?



So, who will finally emerge victorious after the votes of trust have been cast ?

Is This The End ???

Look, you fools, you’re in danger !

Can’t you see ?!

They’re after you !

They’re after all of us !

Our wives, our children, everyone !

THEY’RE HERE, ALREADY !

YOU’RE NEXT !!!!!

(I, for one, welcome our new swine overlords)

There’s Some Really Sick People In This Town #6

Welcome to another instalment of this irregular series of posts about that other side of humanity.

Have you ever thought about what the I-net is used for ?

You can use it for e-mailing a relative for example.

Or for playing a game of chess with some stranger on the other side of the planet.

Some however use web search engines to look for pictures.

Special certain pictures.

Perhaps you do too.

Do you secretly download pics off Google ?

Pics no one else must see ?

Pics that others might not tolerate ?

Pics showing your object of desire ?

Pics of a sexy…

chair ?

No ?

A young & wild refrigerator perhaps ?

No ??

Ok, what about that global landmark the Eiffel Tower ?

No ???

Hmmm, I guess you’re not an OS then.



…an objectum-sexual

& just in case you think I made it all up, here’s the odd link o’ truth.